Thursday, May 12, 2005

Efficiency Report Phrases

Oh, how I wish we could write it like it really is.

Like a young Lieutenant running a hand grenade range who fell asleep while the range was hot "This officer has truly explosive potential."


- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and started to dig.

- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

- I would not allow this employee to breed.

- This associate is really not so much of a has-been but more of definitely won't be.

- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

- When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

- He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.

- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

- He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

- This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

- This employee should go far; and the sooner he starts, the better.

- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

- Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.

- A room temperature IQ.

- Got a full six pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

- Gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.

- A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.

- A prime candidate for natural deselection.

- Bright as Alaska in December.

- Donated his body to science before he was done using it.

- One celled organisms outscore him on an IQ test.

- Fell out of the family tree.

- Has two brains; one is lost and the other is looking for it.

- Gates are down, the lights are on, but the train isn't coming.

- He is so dense light bends around him.

- If brains were taxed, she would get a rebate.

- If you stand too close to him you will hear the ocean.

- One neuron short of a synapse.

- Some drank from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.

- Takes him 1 ½ hours to watch 60 minutes.

- The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.


Blogger alix said...

delusions of adequacy...LOL

12:36 AM  
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5:00 AM  
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1:20 AM  

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