Efficiency Report Phrases
Oh, how I wish we could write it like it really is.
Like a young Lieutenant running a hand grenade range who fell asleep while the range was hot "This officer has truly explosive potential."
- Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and started to dig.
- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
- I would not allow this employee to breed.
- This associate is really not so much of a has-been but more of definitely won't be.
- Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
- When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
- He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
- This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
- He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
- This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
- This employee should go far; and the sooner he starts, the better.
- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.
- A room temperature IQ.
- Got a full six pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
- Gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
- A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
- A prime candidate for natural deselection.
- Bright as Alaska in December.
- Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
- One celled organisms outscore him on an IQ test.
- Fell out of the family tree.
- Has two brains; one is lost and the other is looking for it.
- Gates are down, the lights are on, but the train isn't coming.
- He is so dense light bends around him.
- If brains were taxed, she would get a rebate.
- If you stand too close to him you will hear the ocean.
- One neuron short of a synapse.
- Some drank from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
- Takes him 1 ½ hours to watch 60 minutes.
- The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.